It's Good to Be Back
by x snow-pony x
Summary: Tracy/ Mike one-shot set during series 4 of TDG where Tracy comes to Ashdene Ridge.


**A/N I know, I know, I've now got six one-shots on the go at once, but all the others keep coming to a standstill, and I figured it would be better to do some writing, even if it gives me more to do, rather than none at all. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. :-D**

 **Tracy POV**

I took a deep breath as I walked up to the door of Ashdene Ridge. I'd never been here before, and only knew it was where everyone had moved to because of a general email Mike had sent to everyone who might need to know. I hadn't needed the address at the time: my job was going well and I wasn't planning on going to see the kids, but I'd kept the email anyway, knowing that I might want it in the future.

And now, four years after I'd left Elm Tree House, I was back.

It was dark, the only light coming from inside the house. I gently knocked on the door, wanting to be heard, but not wanting to wake the whole house.

After a minute or so the door opened to reveal two girls who were about ten years old, both identical to each other.

"Is Mike in?" I asked as the girls let me into the hall.

"He's upstairs sleeping," said one of them.

"Should we go and get him?" asked the other.

I nodded. "Yes please." I paused. "Don't tell him who I am: he'll know when he sees me."

I didn't want the girls to tell Mike who I was because I wanted to see his reaction, and I didn't want them to spoil it.

The girls smiled, before they went up the stairs.

I watched them go, waiting for Mike to come down.

* * *

 **Mike POV**

"Mike."

"Mike, wake up."

I was woken to Toni shaking me, Billie standing behind her.

"You alright?" I asked, sitting up in bed.

"There's this lady downstairs," said Toni.

"She said she knows you," said Billie.

I looked at them, confused. "Did she tell you her name?"

Both of the girls shook their heads.

I got out of bed, my head spinning with thoughts. Who was this lady? And why didn't she tell the twins her name?

I went out of the room and began to walk down the stairs, ushering the twins back to bed as I did so.

And then I saw her.

"Tracy?"

* * *

 **Billie POV**

"Who do you think it was at the door?" asked Toni as we went back into our bedroom.

"How would I know?" I said. "I don't know her anymore than you do."

"Maybe Mike will tell us in the morning," said Toni, getting into bed.

"Maybe," I said, getting into bed myself. "Goodnight, Toni."

"Night, Billie," said Toni.

And then she turned off her bedside lamp, before we both lay there in the darkness, still wondering who it was who had come to visit...

* * *

 **Tracy POV**

I looked up as I heard my name, Mike's face a picture, an amazing mix of complete shock and absolute joy.

I gave a small smile.

Mike began to run down the stairs, opening his arms as he got to the bottom, and enveloped me into a hug.

I began to cry, feeling overwhelmed at seeing Mike again, having forgotten just how nice it felt when he hugged me, always making me feel like nothing could hurt me.

"It's so good to see you," said Mike. "It's been, what, four years now?"

I nodded, pausing for a moment. "It's weird, seeing you again."

"You too," said Mike.

We stood there for a few seconds, just enjoying seeing each other again, before I took a deep breath.

"Can I stay the night?"

* * *

 **Mike POV**

I quickly nodded, sensing that something was wrong. "Yeah, sure. Of course you can."

Tracy gave a small smile. "Thanks."

"Why do you want to stay?" I asked. "Actually, why are you here?"

She gave a fake smile, one I could see straight through. "I just wanted to see you, that's all." She paused. "It being so long and everything."

I smiled back, deciding not to push any further: Tracy would tell me the truth in her own time if she wanted to.

"Do you want to come with me to the kitchen?" I asked.

Tracy gave a small shake of her head, followed by a sniffle. I held her close, sensing that now she could see me again, she didn't want to leave.

Similar to me, really.

After a minute or so Tracy stopped crying, and then pulled away slightly.

"Can I have something to eat?" she asked. "I haven't had anything since lunchtime."

I nodded, gave her a smile, and led her through to the kitchen.

* * *

 **Tracy POV**

When we got to the kitchen I sat down at the breakfast bar, whilst Mike went to look in the fridge.

"I've got some cold pizza from dinner," said Mike. "Do you want that?"

I nodded giving a small smile, remembering my first night at Elm Tree House. "Yes please."

We'd shared a pizza there, and Mike offering me pizza now gave me a sense of familiarity.

And I relaxed.

Mike brought the pizza out on a plate and put it in front of me, before coming to sit next to me.

I took a piece, taking a small bite. "Do you remember seven years ago you brought a pizza when I came that night?"

Mike looked thoughtful for a moment, before he smiled, a slightly mischievous look in his eyes. "That night you got in trouble with Gina for getting arrested?"

I nodded, giving a small laugh.

Mike picked up a slice of pizza for himself. "She doesn't work here anymore."

"Doesn't she?" I asked, surprised.

Mike took a bite of pizza, shaking his head. "No." He paused, swallowing his mouthful. "She left a couple of years ago. May-Li works here now."

"What else has changed?" I asked, curious to know what had happened in my absence.

"Gus, Elektra, Frank, Rick, and Johnny have left," said Mike, my eyes widening. "Sapphire got a new flat and Lily moved away too, so we don't see them anymore either." He paused, smiling as the shock on my face grew. "And then Faith moved in, but she left, Floss came, Mo came, then it was Bailey, then Kazima, then Ryan, then the twins, Billie and Toni, who I think you met earlier," I nodded, "Finn, and then Sasha."

I sat there in shock for a moment, before I composed myself. "Wow."

Mike laughed. "Yep, we've had a lot of changes. And we've moved house."

"Who's still here?" I asked, laughing slightly.

"Um, Carmen, Tee, Jody, Harry, and Tyler," said Mike. "Oh, and me, of course."

"No, I thought you'd left!" I said, the sarcasm clear in my voice.

Mike laughed, pretending to swat me. I pretended to swat him back, and then Mike pretended to be hurt. He moved back slightly, knocking over a glass that was on the side.

I froze.

"Tracy?" asked Mike, looking at me in concern. "Are you alright?"

I snapped out of my trance. "Yeah, fine," I said giving him a smile.

"You sure?" asked Mike.

I nodded.

He picked up another piece of pizza, and handed it to me. "Come on, eat this: you don't look that well."

I took the pizza obligingly, even though I wasn't hungry anymore. I took a small bite as Mike took another piece of pizza for himself.

"You can stay in the staff bedroom tonight," said Mike, taking another mouthful of pizza. "I'll show you where the bathroom and things are as well."

I gave Mike a small smile of thanks, taking another small bite out of my own slice of pizza.

A few minutes later we finished the pizza, and Mike signalled for me to get my bag.

"Come on," he said. "I'll take you up to your room."

I picked up my rucksack and followed Mike upstairs.

* * *

We went to the spare staff bedroom, passing the bathroom on the way.

"There's another bathroom down the corridor, but you should be OK using this one in the morning," said Mike.

I nodded.

We then got to the spare staff bedroom, and Mike turned on the light.

"Well, this is it," said Mike.

I went in and put my rucksack down, before sitting on the bed.

"Is there anything else you need?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Thanks, Mike."

Mike gave a smile. "No problem." He paused. "Well, I'll see you in the morning."

He went to leave the room, beginning to close the door behind him.

And then I realised I had to tell him the truth.

"Mike?" I said.

Mike appeared in the doorway again. "Yeah?"

"I, I, um..." I took a deep breath. "I need to tell you why I'm here..."

* * *

 **Billie POV**

I was nearly falling asleep when I heard Mike walk past our room.

He was talking to someone.

That lady!

I got out of bed and went over to my sister's bed.

"Toni," I said, shaking her shoulder. "Toni, wake up."

"What?" Toni mumbled sleepily.

"Mike's talking to that lady," I said. "We might be able to find out who she is."

"Just wait until the morning," said Toni. "I'm too tired."

"Oh, OK," I said, feeling a disappointment come over me. I really wanted to know who she was, but I knew it would probably be best to take Toni's advice and ask in the morning.

I gave a sigh, before I got back into bed, and tried once again to go to sleep...

* * *

 **Mike POV**

I sat down on the bed next to Tracy, the worry clear in her face. I gave her a small smile, taking her hand and giving it a small, reassuring squeeze.

"Well, you know I got a job as a live-in care worker when I left Elm Tree House?" began Tracy.

I gave a nod.

"Well, a few weeks ago, this mum came to us and asked if she could have help with her son Alfie, who has quite severe autism," she continued. "During the week he went to school, so it was fine, but at weekends, being a single mum who had to work whilst Alfie was at school, as she couldn't leave him on his own, she needed a bit of help to deal with him, and then also look after him for her whilst she went shopping or things like that."

I gave Tracy's hand another squeeze, sensing that this was hard for her.

"Well, today I turned up at her house as usual, and everything was going fine until she wanted to go out and do the shopping," said Tracy. "I wasn't feeling great, so I offered to go, but she said I had to stay with Alfie. So she went out, and I was left looking after him."

"What happened?" I asked, sensing it was something bad.

She took a deep breath. "Well, we were OK for a few minutes, but then Alfie started shouting for his mum, and when I went to try and comfort him he pushed me away. I tried everything I could think of, but nothing was working, so I decided to go out of the room for a few minutes, to see if away from the noise I could think of a solution." She paused. "Well, his mum had told me that if I ever had to leave him in a room by himself, like if I needed to go to the bathroom or something, I had to strap him into a special chair, so he wouldn't hurt himself." She looked up at me. "He's only six, and with his autism he liked to explore things, and in the past he'd got hurt, so his mum did that as a precaution."

I nodded.

Tracy looked down at the floor. "Well, I strapped him in, just to go and have a bit of a breather in the room I slept in on Saturday night so I could stay the weekend, but because of all the noise he was making and how much he was fidgeting, I was panicking, and so I didn't do the straps up properly. So I went up to my room, only to hear a smash, and then a wail, coming from downstairs. Anyway, I ran downstairs as fast as I could, and Alfie was sitting on the floor in the kitchen, shattered glass all around him, with a big shard in his hand..."

Tracy broke down then, sobbing uncontrollably, her body shaking. I pulled her close, gently rocking her.

"I didn't know what to do," she said. "I called 999, and got an ambulance to come, but everything was just getting too much, and Alfie was screaming, and it was all mad..." She paused. "And then his mum walked in."

"I'm guessing she wasn't happy?" I said.

"She was furious," said Tracy. "She said that I was awful at my job, and sent a formal complaint, saying that Alfie had been in danger the whole time he'd been with me, and before when he hadn't been in his chair he'd never got hurt this badly, because I should never have left a glass on the side, because something as dangerous as that shouldn't be out when Alfie's around, and that it was all my fault, and that I should lose my job..."

"And they agreed, didn't they?" I asked gently.

She gave a small nod.

I held her close, trying to reassure her that she was alright. "Shh," I said. "I'm here, it's alright. Shh. Shh. You're safe, I've got you, I've got you. Shh."

I felt her relax, her body growing less and less tense. I just held her, knowing I would never leave her if she needed me.

* * *

 **Tracy POV**

As Mike held me I began to relax, feeling safe in his arms.

"Aren't you angry?" I asked suddenly, remembering how everyone else had shouted at me.

Mike gave a smile. "Of course not," he said. "You were trying your best, and all it was was an accident. You didn't mean for him to get hurt."

"But I left him alone because it was too much for me," I said. "I should have been able to cope."

Mike gave me a squeeze. "If I believed in that logic, which you should know I don't, you would have been fired by me five years ago when Cam went to New York."

I nodded, still remembering that day so clearly. It was the first time I'd broken down in front of Mike, and all he'd done was look after me, making sure for weeks afterwards that I was OK. He'd never complained, never said no to anything I asked permission for.

He'd just cared for me.

And now he was doing exactly the same, just comforting me as I cried, and I realised the real reason I'd come back here.

I'd thought it was just to get out of the house, as Cam wasn't that happy with me either, and have somewhere to stay the night.

But, in reality, it was because I'd known, even if only deep down, that Mike wouldn't be angry.

And that he would always look after me.

I stopped crying after a few minutes, and Mike looked at me, giving me a smile.

"You OK?" he asked gently.

I nodded.

"Why weren't you coping that day anyway?" asked Mike.

I looked at him, the fear building inside me. If he knew that he'd shout: he'd be furious...

"Tracy?" asked Mike, looking back at me, his face full of concern. "Are you alright?"

I have a small shake of my head, looking down at the floor as tears began to make their way down my cheeks.

"Tell me what's wrong," said Mike gently. "I won't be angry, I promise."

"You will," I said quietly.

"If I feel angry with you when you tell me," said Mike, "I'll go out for a few moments, and then I'll talk to you when I know I won't shout or anything, OK?" He gave me a reassuring smile.

I took a deep breath. "Well, I, I..."

The words stuck to my throat, I couldn't speak.

"You what?" asked Mike gently.

I shook my head, feeling slightly sick. I couldn't say it, it was too hard...

"Trace?" asked Mike. "Come on, just tell me, then I can help, yeah?"

"I, I, I, I, I..." I shook my head again. "I can't, I can't, I..."

I could feel myself breaking down, everything overwhelming me. Mike seemed to sense this, and put his arm around me, pulling me close.

"What happened, Tracy?" he asked gently, giving my shoulder a rub.

"I, I broke down, a couple of weeks ago, in front of Alfie," I began. "He, he hated it, he started screaming, becuase he didn't know what was going on, but I couldn't breathe, and there was nothing I could do..." I trailed off, before taking a deep breath. "Cam had just had her article rejected, so she was stressed, and Alfie had just been making noise all the time and it was mad..."

"How does that relate to today?" asked Mike confused.

I sighed. "Alfie didn't trust me after that. I couldn't tell his mum what had happened, so I just kept it to myself, but whenever I was left with Alfie he didn't like it. He would always be unhappy, and with Cam having the rewritten article rejected again yesterday it was all just too much. We didn't have enough money to pay the bills, and Alfie was just shouting and shouting, so I was panicking as I did up the straps, and..."

I trailed off, sobs wracking my body.

I expected Mike to be angry, to tell me I should have kept myself together until I wasn't with Alfie anymore, as I'd really upset him, and...

Well, that's what everyone else had said.

But he didn't.

He didn't at all.

* * *

 **Mike POV**

I watched as Tracy's shaking body crumpled, and then I held her close, rocking her like a child.

"Shh," I said gently as she sobbed. "I'm not angry, I understand why it happened. Shh." I paused. "Just relax, just relax, there's a good girl."

It hurt to see Tracy like this, so upset. I just continued to hold her, knowing I had to.

She then leant on me, and I could feel her pain in every sob.

And it made me want to cry.

I couldn't even begin to imagine what this was like for Tracy. Money worries, Cam being stressed, and then a child just shouting and shouting... No wonder she'd broken down.

She'd broken down now too, actually.

But this time, she had me.

I continued to hold her, comforting her as much as I could, until her sobs began to subside.

"You OK?" I asked gently.

She gave a weak nod in reply.

"Why did you think I'd be angry at you?" I asked softly.

"Because everyone else was," said Tracy, sniffling. "Everyone else was furious with me."

"Even Cam?" I asked.

She nodded. "She didn't mean to, but because she didn't have any money coming in, me losing my job was awful, and she just lost it."

"Is that why you came here tonight?" I asked.

She nodded again.

"Does she know you're here?" I asked.

"She knows I left," said Tracy. "I told her I wouldn't be back tonight."

"Do you want to call her, tell her you're OK?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I'll tell her in the morning."

"Was she really that cross?" I asked gently.

Tracy nodded, tears coming to her eyes again. "She went ballistic," she said. "She was just so mad, probably mainly because I was the only one bringing in any money, and now I've lost my job, and I don't have a clue what we're going to do..."

She trailed off, leaning on me, obviously just wanting some comfort.

I rubbed my hand up and down her arm, trying to soothe her.

And then I had an idea.

"Would you like a job here again?" I asked. "I saw how good you were with the kids last time, and I'm sure May-Li will say yes."

She looked at me as if I was crazy.

"You want to offer me a job?" she asked. "Even after everything I just told you?"

I gave a small laugh. "Of course I do." I looked at her more seriously. "Tracy, you weren't coping, that wasn't your fault." I paused, making my voice even more soft and gentle. "And you know from last time you won't get into trouble for not coping."

She gave a small nod, and for a moment I saw the Tracy from five years ago, the Tracy broken by Cam going to New York.

The Tracy I had worked so hard to fix.

And then the memories faded.

And I was back to the present day.

And Tracy was crying again.

I wrapped my arms around her, shushing her gently, making sure she was OK.

Making sure she _would be_ OK, anyway.

We sat like this for a few minutes, Tracy just crying in my arms, before she spoke.

"Yes."

Her voice was so quiet I only just heard it.

"Yes what?" I asked.

"Yes I would like a job," she said, a little braver this time.

I smiled. "Welcome back to the team, then."

She gave a smile back, before her face filled with confusion. "I get a job as easy as that? No interview or discussion or anything?"

I laughed. "As if I need to do an interview. Qualifications: oh, the ones I told you to go to college for. Past work experience: you published a book, worked at Elm Tree, and then went to be a live-in care worker for four years. Personality so I know you can work with the kids: I already know, and you're brilliant with them. Anything that might stop you doing the job:... Need I go on?"

Tracy laughed then, obviously realising I was right.

"And I will talk to May-Li in the morning, but I don't see any reason she'll say no, and I'm head care worker anyway, so I get to make the final decision," I said. I paused. "There's no way you're not going to get the job."

And then my face turned serious.

"There's only one thing that might stop you from getting the job," I said.

"What?" asked Tracy, looking at me in fright.

"If you don't tell me when something's wrong," I said gently. "I'm still here to help you like I was four years ago, yeah?"

Tracy nodded, a smile coming to her face. "I will, I promise."

I smiled back, relieved that she was still going to let me look after her.

"Right," I said. "You'd better get some sleep, and I'll see you in the morning."

Tracy nodded, and I smiled at her, before going to go out of the room.

"Mike?"

I turned around as Tracy said my name.

"Thank you," said Tracy.

I gave her another smile. "Just doing my job." I paused. "And giving you one."

Tracy laughed, before I left the room, closing the door behind me.

And it was then, I knew for certain.

I'd made the right decision.

* * *

 **Tracy POV**

I woke up the next morning, the sun shining through my window.

And then, as I looked around the room, I wondered where I was.

And then I remembered.

The Dumping Ground.

I gave a small smile as I remembered what had happened the night before, which widened when I remembered the job Mike had given me.

Cam would be thrilled.

Thinking about Cam made me remember I still hadn't told her where I was, and so I got my phone from the bedside table, and went to text her.

10:00.

Whoops.

I decided to text Cam quickly anyway, just to let her know I was safe:

 _Hi Cam,_

 _I stayed at the Dumping Ground last night, I'm fine. Oh, and Mike offered me a job! :-D_

 _Tracy xxx_

I then quickly got dressed, before heading downstairs.

* * *

Mike was in the office when I got downstairs, and so I knocked on the door, before opening it.

"Hi," he said as I walked in. "I was wondering what time you'd be up."

"Yeah, sorry," I said. "I kind of overslept."

Mike shook his head. "Don't worry about it." He smiled. "You look as if you needed it."

I smiled back, knowing Mike was right.

"Right," said Mike, standing up. "None of the kids apart from the twins know you're here, and they don't know who you are, and no one knows I've given you a job yet, apart from May-Li, who agreed. So I thought it would be a good idea to call a house meeting, and then get you to come and introduce yourself."

I smiled: I couldn't wait to meet everyone and see the kids I already knew again.

"OK, well if you stay in here, I'll call for you in a minute," said Mike.

I nodded, sitting down on the sofa, so I couldn't be seen from outside the office, and then Mike went to round up the kids.

* * *

 **Mike POV**

"Why have you called a house meeting now?" complained Carmen. "I was doing my nails!"

I sighed, shaking my head. "Wait until everyone's here and then I'll tell you."

Just then Billie and Toni walked into the room.

"Is this about that woman who came last night?" asked Billie.

"What woman?" asked Tee.

"Right, if you sit down, I'll explain," I said.

When everyone was sat down I began.

"Right, well this woman turned up last night at Ashdene Ridge whilst most of you were asleep," I said, trying my hardest not to smile. "And we talked, and then I offered her a job. Now, I hope you'll make her feel very welcome, because I'm sure she'll be very good at the job." I looked out into the hallway. "You can come and introduce yourself now!"

* * *

 **Tracy POV**

I smiled as Mike called for me, before making my way to the kitchen. As I entered I spotted the kids I knew from Elm Tree House, as well as the twins, and a lot of new faces.

"Tracy?" said Carmen in shock.

Tee laughed. "You're our new care worker?!"

I laughed myself, nodding.

And then I was surrounded.

Carmen, Tee, Jody, Harry and Tyler ran up to me, giving me a big hug. I smiled, very glad to be back.

"Everyone," said Mike, "this is Tracy Beaker. She used to work here a few years back, which is why these guys know her."

"Is that why she didn't tell us her name?" asked Toni. "Because she didn't want us to ruin the surprise?"

I nodded, finally releasing myself from the grip of the others.

"Why are you coming back here?" asked Tee. "I thought you left to be a live-in care worker or something."

"Yeah, I did," I said. "But, um, I, it..."

"It didn't work out," said Mike, finishing my sentence for me. "It didn't suit you as much, did it, Tracy?"

"No," I said. I turned to Mike a gave him a grateful smile.

"So you're back, like, for good?" asked Jody.

I nodded, giving her a smile. "Yeah, so be prepared for some brand new, and dare I say improved, 'Tracy plans'!" I said, a mischievous smile on my face.

"Carmen, hide the roof ladder now!" said Mike jokingly.

"What about the eggs?" asked Tee.

""And the ballot box!" said Tyler. "Unless of course it's to vote for me in the election for the 'Kids in Care' magazine.

I looked confused, and Tyler and Jody laughed.

"I'll explain later," said Mike.

I nodded, smiling.

Just then my phone started ringing.

"It's Cam," I said to Mike as I read the screen, before I left the room. "Cam?"

"Oh, Tracy, you're OK," said Cam. "Where on earth are you?"

"I'm at the Dumping Ground," I ssid. "I sent a text."

"Did you?" asked Cam. "I didn't get it."

"Well, I spoke to Mike, and he's given me a job," I said.

"Did you tell him what happened?" asked Cam. "Because if you haven't and he's offered you a job, then..."

"I told him everything," I said. "He wasn't mad."

"Wow," said Cam.

"It was Mike," I said.

I didn't need to say any more. Both of us knew how caring Mike was, and neither of us should have been surprised he didn't get angry.

"So, does that mean we'll have to move to be near... What's it called now?" asked Cam.

"Ashdene Ridge," I said. "And probably, yes. It's really near where Elm Tree was."

We'd moved away after I'd started my new job, not wanting to have said goodbye, only to see everyone in the street.

"What do you reckon happened to our flat?" I asked. "Imagine if we moved back in."

"That would be weird," said Cam.

I paused for a moment. "Are you still angry?"

"Of course not," said Cam. "I was just worried, that's all. I'm sorry."

"That's OK," I said.

"Anyway," said Cam, "I've got to go." She paused. "See you tonight?"

I smiled. "See you tonight."

"Bye, Tracy," said Cam. "Love you."

"Love you too," I said. "Bye."

And with that I put the phone down, and went back to the kitchen.

* * *

Mike saw me when I came back in. "Did you tell her about the job?"

I nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I did. She was really pleased."

Mike smiled back. "When do you think you can start?"

I paused for a moment. "Um, I don't know, because we live quite a way away, and..."

"You could always stay here overnight if you wanted," said Mike. "Just until you find somewhere closer."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," I said.

Mike gave me a smile, and I gave one back.

As I looked around the room, watching all the kids smiling, chatting and joking, a thought came into my mind, and it was so true I couldn't help but say it out loud. "It's good to be back."

"What, in this mad house?" asked Mike.

I laughed, shaking my head.

"Although, to be honest, it's not half as mad now as it will be when you start back," said Mike.

And we both laughed.

 **A/N Love the fact this was the last one-shot I started, and ended up being the first one up! XD I actually spent so long on this I had to go through changing all of the year references forward one so they were right. Really wish this would happen in the show, or even just Dani coming back for one episode, but I am still hoping... XD Really hope you enjoyed this, please review! :-D**


End file.
